Two Texas Aggies, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.
The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a DPS roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, throw the bottles under the seat, and peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads".
"What fer?", asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?", said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock,the trooper said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch".
My town was so small that.....
 | They had to widen the main street to paint the white line down the middle. |
| They only had one yellow page. |
| Baskin Robbins had only nine flavors. |
| One lady left her porch light on in December and won first prize for her Christmas decorations. |
| They only had a semi-circle K. |
| They had to share their horse with another town. |
| No one used their turn signals because everyone knew where you are going. |
| All the City Limits signs were on one pole. |
| The same guy got all the Father's Day cards. |
| They had to close the Zoo because the chicken died. |
| Their only traffic light changed weekly. |
| The first baby of the year was born in July. |
| The town hooker is still a virgin. |
- Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
- You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.
- You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
- You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
- You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
- You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.
- You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.
- You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
- You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.
- You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.
- You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
- You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
- You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
- You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs.
- You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers, and peel apples.